Every little thing that happens, every decision that you make, is creating your future and your reality. Minute by minute your reality is changing, like a static blur that will forever be evolving into whatever you choose it to be.
And just like that, twelve months ago, my reality changed. My partner and I had both just landed our dream jobs, the only problem was that his was a 20-hour drive from home. So even though I had just secured my dream job, as Country Manager of a large fashion house, I felt a huge sense of sorrow as I braced myself for what I felt would be the end of a relationship that I cherished.
During this time I questioned my decision to stay and follow my career and not my heart, because being a woman these days meant being successful, right? And I was. At 30 I had managed huge multi-million dollar businesses, that had challenged me, brought me many gifts – of great friendships and lessons of trust and strength, but had also broken me in many ways.
One day I spoke to my father and asked him why this was happening, why we had to choose and how we could so easily make such an impossible decision. He told me ‘Chop, it is only happening if you want it to’, but frozen, with the fear of losing either my identity or my love, I did nothing to consciously stop it.
Of course, the universe had other ideas.
On the 28th of December 2016, five days before my partner was to board his plane to sunny Mackay, I awoke with a strange nausea. I did what many women so nonchalantly did before me, during their fertile days. So, as quickly as those two lines turned blue, I had quit my job and packed up my little Bondi pad, to follow what was now my destiny. Within the next 25minutes both of our lives would change forever and we would embark on the most challenging, beautiful and messy adventure of our lives: Parenthood.